Scientists often gather at scientific conferences to share data and ideas. At these events, sometimes a prominent scientist is invited to give the Keynote Talk, the headliner of the conference. It’s a big honor. But, has a graduate student ever received this honor? Well, Lu has, via an email that for some reason went to his SPAM folder. He accepted without hesitation, of course.
In this special episode of the Recreational Science podcast, Lu tells Tirth and Saran the delightful story of what happened next.
Sections:
Lu: The story here is titled “Getting Invited to Give a Keynote Talk at a Conference.” This was, again, presented at my thesis defense in 2018. This was my specific aim #3. So basically, I was invited to give a keynote talk at a conference in 2018. No big deal. This all started with an email that I received.
Saran: Wait, but some of our listeners may not know what a keynote is.
Lu: Yeah. So why don’t you tell them what’s a keynote? What’s a conference, first of all? Tirth, you were at a conference recently.
Tirth: I was just at a conference recently, yes. A conference is a meeting of a bunch of scientists.
Saran: You gave the keynote, right?
Tirth: Yeah, in a manner of speaking, yes. There’s an audience of one. It’s a bunch of scientists at different levels. You got professors, graduate students, postdocs. They all come, hang out. There are some talks, people present posters, they share preliminary data.
Lu: There’s typically a keynote talk, which is the main event, the headliner.
Tirth: The headliner, yeah. The event headliner basically.
Lu: Yeah. The top billing.
Tirth: Yeah.
Lu: Typically, a huge star…
Tirth: A huge star.
Lu: In the field is invited. They get paid handsomely.
Tirth: Yes.
Lu: The whole trip is comped.
Tirth: Yeah.
Lu: It’s a big deal. Big honor. Huge honor. One of the biggest honors a scientist can receive. I received this back during my PhD, which is, they say I’m very precocious…
Saran: That’s probably, I don’t know if any other grad student has ever received that honor.
Lu: No, please. Of course not.
The Email
Lu: Anyways, like I was saying, this all started with an email that I received. This email was sent with high importance. This is in 2018. It’s titled “Follow up: Keynote Speaker Invitational at Tissue 2018_Las Vegas.” It was sent from Tissue 2018.
Saran: Oh, that’s a good location.
Lu: Exactly. Very good location. Here’s how it began:
Lu: “Dear Dr dot Lu Yang, We express our great elation to invite you to the ninth international conference and exhibition on tissue science and regenerative medicine as our bold Keynote Speaker.” Tissue 2018 focuses on, ‘delving deeper into the biology of repair and regeneration ’.”
Saran: Dot!
Tirth: I think ChatGPT may have written this email back in 2018.
Lu: Please. This is very serious. “Your expertise and intelligence is well projected in your research findings and would surely unfurl the new insights in turf.” I actually didn’t know what that meant – “unfurl the new insights in turf.”
Tirth: I think they’re feeding you surf and turf.
Lu: Oh, that would be very delicious. “As a researcher,” the email continues, “as a researcher in the field of tissue, stem cell and regenerative medicine, your opinions and expertise are valuable and important for the hit of the conference.”
Tirth: The hit.
Lu: “Date: April 23rd to 24th, 2018. Venue: Las Vegas, USA. Website:” and gives the link, Tissue Conferences. “We look forward to hearing a positive response from your good end.”
Tirth: Wait, which one’s your good end, Lu?
Lu: Good question. Great question. They didn’t specify. Not the bad end, obviously. “Thanks and regards, Melissa Mayer, Program Manager.” Actually, is it Mayer or Myer?
Tirth: Mayer.
Lu: Mayer. Mayer.
Tirth: Actually, I’ve heard it both ways.
Saran: Yeah, it depends. It depends.
Lu: Oscar Mayer.
Tirth: But that’s spelled differently.
Lu: No, it’s not. Oscar Mayer. M-A-Y-E-R.
Tirth: I was thinking about Oscar Weiner.
Lu: Anyways, so I got this email, I was super excited. Like, right, as you guys said, grad students never get invited to give Keynote Speaks.
Tirth: No.
Lu: To give Keynote Talks at a conference, right?
Tirth: No, we’re all schlubs.
Lu: This is a huge, huge honor. In fact, have you guys ever been invited to give a Keynote Talk?
Tirth: No, no, I’m a schlub.
Saran: No, no, no, no.
Lu: And Saran, you’re a professor, right?
Saran: Yeah. No, no, no. I don’t expect to give these for two decades. In two decades, I would definitely be on the look out for this type of email.
Lu: Please do. Check your spam folder. Sometimes, you know, they accidentally get sent there for some reason. But, you know, look, I got this email, super excited, but then I thought about it, I was like, you know, look, I’m a pretty amazing person, but I’m also very modest, right? Which you guys would agree.
Saran: Mmmmmm…
Tirth: …yeah.
Lu: Amazing, but also modest. And I was like, okay, they probably had the wrong person, right? Despite, you know, how amazing my research was going on at the time.
Saran: It would be uncanny though, because this was your field.
Lu: It was my field, but, you know, I didn’t really have a paper for my PhD at that time, so I was like, they probably got the wrong person. They’re probably looking for someone much… a much bigger name, right? But then I thought, wait a minute, this could be potentially a free trip to Vegas.
Saran: Exactly.
Lu: That’s an opportunity I can’t turn down.
Saran: Yeah.
Lu: Even if it’s a mistake. So I responded with the following:
Lu: “Dear Ms. Mayer.” Is it Myer?
Tirth: Mayer. Mayer.
Lu: Mayer. Okay. “Dear Ms. Mayer, I am honoured,” – I spelled honored with a U because I assumed they were from the UK – “I am honoured to have been selected to give the Keynote Talk at the Tissue 2018 Las Vegas meeting. I’m glad you agree that my research into the biomechanical underpinnings of turf toe has unfurled new insights. I just have one quick question: what limousine service will be picking me up from the airport in Las Vegas?”
Saran: That’s the most critical question.
Tirth: Yeah.
Lu: “I ask because I won’t ride with Bell limousine for obvious reasons, and I’m not allowed to ride with Presidential. Thank you. From my good end, Dr. Lu Yang, Keynote Speaker, Tissue 2018 Las Vegas.” My sign off.
Saran: Do you still keep that in your signature?
Lu: Absolutely. After I sent this email, I waited very excitedly for the reply, which I got the next day, the next morning.
Lu: For some reason, they were sending emails in the morning. Again, I think they were from the UK. “Dear Dr. Lu Yang, greetings from Tissue 2018!!!” Three exclamation points.
Tirth: Wow.
Lu: “Thank you for your reply and interest towards our esteemed conference, Tissue 2018. In response to your query, we would like to inform you that we are non-profit and non-funding organization. We are sorry to inform you that we cannot provide you with shuttle service from the airport in Las Vegas.
Tirth: Hey, hey, hey, I have a few comments to make. They dropped the underscore in Tissue in 2018. They changed their name.
Lu: Good eye.
Tirth: What does it mean that they’re non-funding organization?
Lu: Non-funding Tirth, exactly what it sounds like. They don’t have funds.
Tirth: They also assume that you meant a shuttle and not a limo. You’re very clear.
Lu: I was very clear about a limo. The email continued, “We request you to submit your abstract as per attached template and we will update on its status within 48 hours from submission and also submit your biography and photograph we will update at our OCM page. Kindly have a glace at our OCM page. To submit abstract, kindly visit” the second link. And then there’s a link to the call for abstracts.
Saran: How often does a keynote speaker have to submit an abstract?
Lu: It’s a very good question, very good question.
Tirth: Well, Lu’s the only one who’s been invited to be a keynote, so he’s the only one who probably knows the answer.
Lu: One out of one. Yeah. “Thanks and regards”, the email ends with “thanks and regards. Melissa Mayer, Program Manager.”
Tirth: When did she become Spanish?
Saran: Wait, oh, kindly have a glace?
Lu: Melissa Mayer.
Saran: No, the misspelling is…
Lu: Have a glace to our OCM webpage, yeah. They meant what they meant. So I was thinking, okay, so they’re not gonna give me a limo.
Tirth: No.
Lu: But really, the limo is the cherry on top.
Tirth: Yeah.
Lu: What I was really after is a free trip to Vegas.
Tirth: The ice cream.
Lu: Free flight. Free… Yeah, I’m after ice cream, obviously. But also a free flight to Vegas.
Saran: Accommodations.
Lu: Yeah, exactly.
Saran: It’s okay. It’s okay that I can’t have the shuttle. I’ll take the others.
Lu: Yeah, exactly.
Saran: I got you.
Lu: Also, they wanted me to submit an abstract, but for some reason, I didn’t want to click on that link.
Saran: Yeah.
Lu: So I send this following email reply:
Lu: “Dear Ms. Mayer, no need to apologize. I will have my assistant schedule a chauffeur to and from the airport. Please find attached my abstract, biography, and photo. Would you please provide me more details about the keynote? What time is this scheduled for and who will be in attendance? From my good end, Dr. Lu Yang, Keynote Speaker, Tissue 2018 Las Vegas.” And attached is a photo… Now that I’m looking at it, I realized I submitted the wrong photo.
Lu: This is not me, as you guys can tell. Hopefully. This is actually the name of the file, is the name of the person, Zhou Qi, who if you don’t know, back in 2018, he was a rising star in the NBA. He was on the Rockets. He was a center, seven foot tall, seven foot wingspan, huge potential, huge potential, ultimately didn’t work out. He sucked, he was very bad. But at the time, this was a person you wanted in the NBA.
Tirth: One might say he became a falling rocket.
Lu: Yeah, okay. A lot of things can fall, most things can fall. That’s not a good analogy.
Saran: What was in that PDF you attached?
Lu: Yeah, and then I also attached a PDF. It says LDH Yang bio.pdf.
Saran: Yep, exactly, perfect.
Lu: So, this is, you know, I had to come up with an impressive bio because again, they were after someone, a big shot, right? They were after a huge scientist and my bio was amazing at the time, you know, but it wasn’t quite up to snuff, I felt like, to get a free trip to Vegas. So, I-
Saran: Ah, you had a bit of imposter syndrome.
Lu: I upgraded it a little bit. So, I was like, okay, who are the most famous physicians and scientists at the time that I know of? So, I thought, one would be Doogie Howser, the other one would be Professor Frink from The Simpsons. So, this is an amalgamation of those two biographies: “LDH Yang”, this is my biography, “graduated from Princeton University with a BS in Biology in 1983.”
Saran: Wait, where did the DH come from?
Lu: DH stands for Doogie Howser, which is actually my middle name, in case you guys didn’t know. “Graduated with a BS in Biology in 1983 and an MD in 1987. He then completed his residency in general surgery at Eastman Medical Center in Los Angeles. After a brief stint practicing medicine as one of the youngest surgeons licensed by the state of California, he turned towards medical research in hopes of finding treatment for diseases current medicine does not have. Since then, he has published over 200 articles, posters, flyers and abstracts. In 1990, he was awarded the prestigious Joe E. Dunn Prize. And in 1999, he was selected to become a member of Mensa.”
Tirth: Wow.
Lu: Mensa. Big deal.. Tirth, you probably don’t know what that is.
Tirth: No.
Lu: It’s okay. “In 2003, he became a full professor at Eastman Medical Center where he established his laboratory. His lab has made significant advances in the fields of waterball and combat sports medicine and on such diseases as Frank’s disease, which he discovered and later cured. Currently, he is a visiting professor at the Department of Regenerative Medicine at Springfield Heights Institute of Technology.”
Tirth: Stellar, stellar…
Lu: …which is a very good, very good university.
Tirth: Great institution.
Saran: What’s the abbreviation for that university?
Lu: Please, we don’t bring stuff like that up.
Tirth: Family-friendly.
Lu: Please, please, top-tier research institution in Springfield. So I submitted those in an email, my bio and picture. And again, I waited very impatiently for a response, which I got very quickly. Again, the next morning…
Tirth: 5:51 a.m!
Lu: Yeah, yeah. Good eye, Tirth.
Lu: It started with, “Dear Dr. Lu Yang, Greetings!!! We are glad to have your gracious presence at our conference.” Auspicious beginning. “We didn’t receive your abstract. We request you to kindly submit your abstract as per the attached template and we will update on its acceptance within 24 hours.”
Saran: How did you forget the abstract as a keynote speaker?
Lu: I, yeah.
Saran: That’s poor form, buddy.
Tirth: First time. Performance anxiety.
Lu: “As per your wish and convenience, we can book a slot for your talk.” Then she goes on and lists all the people that will be in attendance, which includes “professors, students, chairman’s, directors, regenerative medicine experts, tissue science experts, doctors, tissue scientists, doctors…”
Tirth: Doctors again!
Lu: “…diagnostic laboratory professionals, postgraduate students, postdoctoral fellows and trainees, and stem cell researchers from the all over the world.”
Tirth: Wow.
Lu: Very impressive list.
Tirth: This is the biggest, I mean, this is the biggest and most important meeting.
Lu: I mean, directors? Like, Martin Scorsese? Is he gonna be there?
Tirth: Chairman’s.
Saran: Elementary school students.
Lu: Oh, no, they’re not welcome to Vegas, please. This is adults only.
Tirth: Family friendly. Oh no, adults only.
Saran: Oh, my fault, my fault. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tirth: Doctors twice.
Lu: Doctors, yeah. Lots of doctors will be attending, yeah. Needless to say, I was very impressed.
Saran: Were you feeling a bit nervous about giving a talk to such an esteemed…
Lu: Absolutely. Absolutely. I figured at this point…
Saran: Did you rethink your decision?
Lu: Oh, no, no, no. Please. Please.
Saran: Okay, you were going to rise to the top.
Tirth: Didn’t you hear him? Didn’t you hear him? He had such a stellar career. There’s nothing to be…
Lu: Very stellar. I can give talks to anybody.
Lu: The email continues, in bold and italics, “please do not hesitate to contact us for further queries. Awaiting your swift and favourable response. Thanks and regards, Melissa Mayer, Program Manager.” Okay, so at this point, I had yet to guarantee myself a trip. I needed to craft a response very, very carefully because I was about to ask a really big question. The biggest question. So I replied with:
Lu: “Dear Ms. Mayer, I am sorry my abstract was not attached. I asked Morty, my assistant, to attach the files as I was in a hurry that day, but evidently, he doesn’t know how to count to three.” Classic Morty. “For the keynote, I am planning on giving my very well-received presentation on ligament stem cell transplant.”
Saran: Oh, dude, you’re going to do a recycled talk?
Lu: No, please. This is no, no, very well-received. Okay, this is the hit.
Tirth: This is top shelf.
Lu: Exactly. This is the thing everybody asks for, okay? This is what people give me encores for. “Please keep this confidential”, I continued in this email, “but I have heard through the grapevine that I’ll be receiving a highly prestigious award in the near future for this work. What do you think?”
Tirth: Wink, wink.
Lu: “Please go ahead and schedule my flight to arrive a week in advance.”
Tirth: Oh.
Lu: “On the day of arrival, please make sure I get in on time for the Bacchanal lunch buffet at Caesar’s Palace.” It’s very important.
Tirth: Yeah.
Lu: “As always, for my good end, Dr. Lu Yang, Keynote Speaker.”
Tirth: Incredible.
Saran: Wow. Wow. Great.
Lu: Yeah. Got the response again the next morning:
Lu: “Dear Dr. Lu Yang, Greetings. Thank you for your swift reply and interest towards Tissue 2018. In response to your query, we wish to inform you that we didn’t receive your abstract yet.”
Tirth: Very persistent.
Saran: They want that abstract. Wait, were you scared about opening that template?
Lu: A little bit, but also, you know, I was still writing the abstract at this point because again, I wanted to write a really, really impressive abstract to, you know, make sure I get in.
Tirth: Plus he’s about to win an award, man. He ain’t got no time writing abstracts. Come on, son.
Lu: Yeah, exactly. Thank you, Tirth. Thank you.
Saran: You are writing your own abstracts at this point?
Tirth: Well, Morty can’t count to three. How’s he going to write an abstract?
Lu: Yeah, Morty is useless. Please, he’s an idiot. You guys remember Morty. You’ve met him. Her email continued, “further to your previous email, we would like to again inform you that we are non-profit and non-funding organization. Non-profit because we organize conferences only for the benefit of the all over the world. Paying registration fee for the conference is part of the conference as we need to pay for the venue and logistics, but it is not the central dogma for hurting the speakers.”
Tirth: Central dogma.
Saran: You don’t even know what America conferences is all about.
Lu: Yeah, the Brits, right? Am I right? “We respect the speakers as they are high affiliated, but as non-funding organization, we cannot pay for the speakers. But we can provide you with some good discounts.”
Saran: Yeah.
Tirth: All right, okay. There you go.
Lu: Interesting. Don’t know what discount she’s referring to, but okay. “Awaiting your swift and favorable response. Thanks and regards, Melissa Mayer, Program Manager.” Okay, so probably not going to pay for my flight, but you know, there’s something else I’m after as well. So I didn’t let up. So I sent the following response: “Dear Ms. Mayer, I apologize that my abstract was not sent to you yet again. Foolishly, I had asked my assistant to submit it, but of course he failed to do so again. Please find my abstract attached. Which hotel would I be staying at? Please book me a room that has a private jacuzzi and a full size fridge, or at least a mini fridge that will be fully replenished at least three times a day.”
Tirth: Nothing less.
Lu: “From my good end, Dr. Lu Yang, Keynote Speaker, Tissue 2018.”
Saran: I’m impressed.
Lu: You know, this email was pretty brief. I wanted to sound important, and as an important man, I like to send long emails. So I was like, okay, what else can I write? I want to impress them with the length of my emails. Do you get my drift? Tirth, you know about length.
Tirth: Oh, yeah.
Lu: The importance of length.
Tirth: Oh, of course, yeah. Everyone’s impressed by…length.
Lu: Yeah. So I added a postscript:
“P.S. do you have problems with assistants like I do? I had to fire my previous assistant for stealing glassware, and this Morty guy I hired is barely a functional human being. Between you and me, I am certain he lied on his resume and during the interview, for instance, about graduating from elementary school. He cannot type more than 10 words a minute, constantly double books me for meetings, and always screws up my very simple lunch and afternoon snack orders. I don’t believe he can even do simple arithmetic at a second grade level. I also question his sanity. Last week, he swore that he saw a man on the moon through his telescope and would not stop talking about it. He even started seeing this moon man everywhere and even wrote a song about him, which he sings just nonstop. Should I just fire him? It takes weeks to train a new assistant and I can’t be going through them like tissues.” See what I did there? Tissues. “Very frustrating.” And a minute after I sent this email, I followed up with a second email:
Lu: “Oops. Forgot the attachment.”
Tirth: Classic.
Saran: Yeah, that’s a classic.
Lu: By this time, I had finished writing my abstract, so I attached it.
Saran: All right, let’s see it.
Tirth: Let’s see it.
Lu: The abstract is titled, “A Novel Genetic Biomechanical Mouse Model and Regenerative Stem Cell Therapy for Metatarsal-phalangeal Joint Sprain.”
Tirth: Nice.
Lu: It’s authored by Dr. LDH Yang, Institute of Technology, Springfield Heights, Missouri, USA. Abstract:
“Metatarsal-phalangeal (MTP) joint sprain, commonly known as turf toe, is strongly associated with athletic activity on hard surfaces, including artificial turf, and has a high prevalence among American football players and wrestlers. Interestingly, MTP joint sprain rarely affects athletes performing comparative levels of foot-to-ground contact on softer surfaces, such as soccer players playing on natural grass and water polo players playing in deep pools. In fact, there has not been a single case of MTP joint sprain among water polo players since 2014. The first year we began tracking such data. We hypothesized based on this provocative correlation that MTP joint sprain has underlying biomechanical causes associated with repeated, regular, and forceful contact of hard surfaces with a human foot, likely the MTP joint directly. Such contacts are potentially the byproduct of running, jumping, in particular, landing from jumps, and heavy lifting. These movements are common in such strenuous sporting activities as American football and wrestling. To test this hypothesis, we created a mouse mod Hi, this is Morty, the new assistant. Jeez, I accidentally deleted this part of the abstract and can’t remember what was here, so please accept this IOU. I will reproduce this part of the abstract ASAP. I promise. Increased spring intensity by nearly eight-fold compared to control mice.” Which is very impressive. “In conclusion, turf toe is a financially costly injury and deserves continued research. It is devastating to athletes, their coaches, and fans, and especially team owners who could stand to lose millions in revenue. The findings presented here represent a huge advancement into understanding the biomechanical underpinnings of injury and a potential cure. Future studies will take advantage of our findings to develop an effective treatment for MTP joint sprain, and perhaps a panacea for all contact-induced joint injuries.”
Tirth: Big word.
Lu: Very, very, very good abstract, wouldn’t you say?
Tirth: Great abstract.
Lu: And on the bottom, I listed some of my recent publications with my frequent collaborators, Dr. Nick Riviera, Dr. Julius Hibbert. One of them was published in Cells Stem Cells, which is a good journal, very good journal. Scientafic, good journal.
Tirth: Scientafic is a great journal.
Lu: Another article I wrote by myself titled “Trickle Down Economics of Turf Toe and Other Avoidable Sports Injuries”, published in Sports Economics.
Tirth: Great journal.
Lu: Another very good journal, yeah.
Tirth: You know, this would have been perfect in the British Medical Journal of Sports Medicine.
Lu: Yes, yes, I didn’t know about them at the time or else I would have for sure submitted some stuff to them. So to my surprise, after sending that, I got a response. For some reason this email was labeled as spam, not sure why. But the title of the email is, “Abstract accepted for Tissue 2018.”
Tirth: Nice.
Lu: Very good sign. “Dear Dr. Yang Lu, Greetings from Tissue 2018.
Tirth: They’ve switched them up.
Saran: Uh-oh, they switched you up.
Lu: “Thank you for submitting your abstract towards Tissue 2018.” That’s okay, that’s a common mistake. “We are very happy to inform you that your abstract entitled ‘A Novel Genetic Biomechanical Mouse Model and Regenerative Stem Cell Therapy for Metastarsal-Phalangeal Joint Sprain’ has been accepted for oral talk under Track 3, Stem cell culture, differentiation and transplantation.”
Saran: Dude, they bait and switched you.
Tirth: Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait. I thought you were the keynote.
Saran: Yeah.
Lu: You know, this could still be the keynote. I could be the only one on that track.
Saran: They took your abstract and, dude, I would have been pretty pissed at this point.
Tirth: There’s so many exclamation points too. I love their enthusiasm, you know.
Lu: It’s unclear, but the email continues: “We kindly request you to register at the earliest as we are in the process of scientific agenda and we need to confirm your slots for you to participate at our esteemed Tissue 2018 Las Vegas.” And then registration link is included. “Thanks and regards, Melissa Meyer, Program Manager, Tissue 2018.” Yeah, so like you guys are saying, at this point, you know, didn’t look like, one, I was going to be able to give a keynote for whatever reason. There’s a bait and switch potentially, I don’t know. Maybe they realized they got the wrong person, not sure. But it also became clear to me that the free trip to Vegas was not going to happen. So, regrettably, I had to send the following email:
Lu: “Dear Ms. Mayer, Regrettably, I must inform you that I can no longer give the keynote at the esteemed Tissue 2018, Las Vegas.”
Saran: Mmmmmm…
Lu: Yeah, very sad. “I have been notified that I am the recipient of the 2018 Nuble Prize in Waterball and Combat Sports Medicine. The award ceremony will take place the week of April 22nd in Oslo, Minnesota, which unfortunately happens to be the same week as Tissue 2018.”
Saran: You had a good excuse.
Lu: Yeah. “From my not so good end…”
Tirth: Switched. Flipped.
Lu: “Dr. Lu Yang, 2018 Nuble Prize Laureate, former keynote speaker”
Tirth: Former keynote speaker.
Lu: “Tissue 2018, Las Vegas.” Yeah, saddest email I ever had to write. “PS. My apologies for not notifying you sooner.” I actually did take a week to respond to this email. “I did not realize until today that my former assistant, Morty…
Tirth: Former.
Saran: Morty.
Lu: “…double booked me for both Tissue 2018 and the Nuble Prize Ceremony.”
Tirth: There’s two formers here: former keynote speaker and a former assistant.
Lu: Very sad. Very sad week for me.
Tirth: Yeah. Depressing.
Lu: “PPS. The Nuble Organization does provide airport limousine service.”
Saran: Trying to make them jealous.
Lu: Yeah, so disappointing.
Tirth: What did they say to that?
Lu: I didn’t get a response. They were quite salty. But you know what?
Saran: Wait, they just ghosted you at this point?
Lu: They just ghosted me, yeah. But I followed up.
The Website
Lu: A few weeks later, I followed this up by checking their website. Which is, you know, it’s up here. I’m not gonna say the name for legal reasons…
Lu: Tissue Science and Regenerative Medicine. April 23rd to 24th, 2018, Las Vegas, Nevada. Good web page, you know, lots of colors. Very good, very appealing. Submit your abstract by clicking that link. There’s an early bird discount. And then there’s this organizing committee, which has pictures of a lot of scientists, which I blacked out because, you know, protect their privacy. But if you scroll down on this web page, you see someone familiar…
L:u: Zhou Qi, the aforementioned Chinese basketball player…
Saran: Dude, you’re famous.
Lu: …with the Rockets.
Saran: You’re famous.
Lu: He’s named L DH Yang, Professor from Springfield Heights Institute of Technology, USA. And there’s a biography, if you click, the biography I sent, which is pretty cool.
Lu: And then he’s got his own web page.
Tirth: Wow.
Lu: With a biography, research interests. And for a while, if you Googled LDH Yang, this is the top hit.
Lu: So look, their website, very well indexed by Google. So you know it’s legit.
Tirth: Top notch SEO.
Lu: Yeah. Very, very legit.
Tirth: Yeah. That’s incredible.
Saran: Is that still, is that site still up?
Lu: I checked as recently as a few years ago, it’s no longer up. It was taken down in late 2018.
Tirth: Hey, have there been more, more Tissues? Has there been a tissue 2019, tissue 2022?
Lu: No, the series for some reason ended in 2018.
Tirth: I bet they’re kicking themselves. They’re like, oh, LDH Yang… All we had to do is send him a limo.
Lu: Yeah, exactly. It’s probably because I was not able to attend that people stopped going to the conference, not because they published my abstract in their journal. I’m sure a lot of people would have read.
Tirth: Yeah.
Lu: So that’s that.
Tirth: Wow.
The Conclusion
Lu: Good times. Now, credit where credit’s due. This was inspired by this comedian that I was following at the time, James Veitch, James and the Giant Veitch. He answers spam emails and they’re really funny. He has a couple of really good TED Talks, which I’ll link in the description (Video – James Veitch TED talk 1, Video – James Veitch TED talk 2). People should check them out.
Saran: So, who do you think you’re talking to? Do you think you’re talking to a real person?
Lu: Yeah. Melissa Mayer.
Tirth: Yeah, this was pre-generative AI.
Lu: Yeah. Yeah. Please. She’s, you know, half German, half British, I’m pretty sure. Living in the UK. London time. Nowhere near India or China.
Tirth: Uh-huh. That’s right. Well, you know, relatively, everything’s close to each other if you think about it. So, you know…
Lu: It’s true.
Tirth: We’re all one, you know, we’re all humans. This planet is our neighborhood. They’re all our neighbors, yeah.
Lu: Wow. That’s such a…wow. I think we have to end the podcast right there.
Tirth: Can’t top that, man.
Lu: What a great unifying statement you just made, Tirth.
Tirth: Yeah. Well, this is the kind of person I am.
Lu: I see.
Saran: So have you received…you’ve received no other keynote invitations?
Lu: I regrettably have to inform you guys that, no, I have not received another keynote invite. This was my chance.
Tirth: The Nuble Prize was your peak.
Lu: I mean, yeah, the Nuble Prize admittedly is worth a lot more.
Saran: It was in Minnesota or Montana?
Tirth: Oslo, Minnesota.
Lu: Minnesota, which is very lovely in April.
Saran: Is that a direct flight from St. Louis or how do you get there?
Lu: It’s three buses and a horse-drawn carriage.
Tirth: Traditions.
Lu: Yeah, the Nuble Prize.
Leave a Reply